Group+9+-+1

**  Brianna, Clare, Jessica, Emily  **

**Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal**

Identify Swift’s proposal. What type of response does he hope to get from his readers? The answer here should be a word that describes emotion. Identify five SPECIFIC examples from the text to support your answer.

Swift's proposal was to fatten up the children of about a year in age and eat them in order to feed the overpopulated and poverty stricken areas of Ireland. By writing this proposal, Swift intends to appall and shock his readers in order to get their attention. Swift also attempts to incite guilt in his readers for having so many children. He blames his readers for the population problem.
 * Swift refers to his readers as breeders throughout the passage.
 * Swift states that skinning the children will make "gloves for ladies and boots for gentlemen" and also lists a variety of other uses.
 * Swift observes that eating children would decrease the number of Papists, whom he refers to as the principal breeders and our most dangerous enemies, inciting guilt in his readers.
 * Swift implies that women and children are frequently abused and believes that his solution to overpopulation would solve this abuse problem also. Since Swift is not serious, he obviously wants his readers to feel guilty for their inhumane actions.
 * Swift suggests, through satire, that no sane person would ever consider eating children.

The federal No Child Left Behind law is threatening to wreck public education in Minnesota and elsewhere. //That's what it was designed to do.//
 * Every Child Left Behind**

http://www.citypages.com/databank/25/1214/article11955.asp




 * No Child Left Behind - A Modest Proposal**

The Federal No Child Left Behind Act has detrimentally impacted the American school system. Due to the negative effects this law has had on the American school system, a few moderate adjustments must be made. A few suggestions for further improving the No Child Left Behind Act follow. To perfect this Act, attendance must be optional, the achievement gap must be closed, apes must replace humans as teachers, funds must go toward infrastructure and cafeteria food improvement, schools must mandate educational field trips to the war zone in Iraq, and schools must be made more safe.

The No Child Left Behind Act mandates one hundred percent attendance for all students. The Act also mandates that all students, regardless of ability, perform at state regulated levels. One hundred percent attendance as well as proficiency is a virtual impossibility; therefore a more effective educational system would not include attendance requirements. Students who do not wish to learn in a formal classroom should feel free to learn at their own pace in the environment of their choice. Some students could learn just as effectively by eating doughnuts all day. If these students insist on coming to school, they must show that they are proficient. If they do not perform to these standards, they will be given extended out of school suspension. Schools should not hesitate to expel any students who fail. It is not necessary for the school to provide these students who are suspended with work. The lack of attendance requirements will make the classroom a less distracting environment for both students and teachers.

One of the purposes of the No Child Left Behind Act is to close the achievement gap between very low achieving students and very high achieving students. To really ensure that the achievement gap is closed, the higher performing students should be forced to become less intelligent. All school districts shall lower their standards to the point where gifted education, as the country knows it, shall be eliminated. Instead of allowing higher reading level students to read Dickens in middle school, middle schoolers will be forced to learn phonics. Since learning phonics will be started at the middle school level, it is virtually impossible to expect that children in elementary school can learn how to read. Elementary age children will participate in a daily "storytime session" in which they will be read to by their teacher. Children will not be expected to read by themselves until the seventh grade. In addition, math standards will also be drastically lowered.

Another purpose of the No Child Left Behind Act is to ensure that highly qualified educators are teaching the students. Because the teachers are more intelligent in terms of qualification, they may lack common sense. Therefore, a better solution would be to have apes and monkeys teach in the classrooms. These primates would not be as intelligent and qualified in terms of education, but they would be able to teach the students basic survival instincts which are greatly needed in the present day and age. The students should look up to and respect their animal educators and aspire to one day be as talented, educated, and qualified, with hopefully better hygiene. Most importantly, the students should learn how to pick up and eat food with their toes because that is a necessary skill in order to thrive in the modern world. Because the intelligence gap between teacher and student will be significantly lowered, students will no longer feel intimidated by the school work they have to complete and the advanced teachers teaching the courses and assigning the work. The No Child Left Behind Act mandates that students pass a standardized test in order to graduate to prove that they are qualified for the transition into a working society. To improve this idea, not only should elementary, middle, and high school students have to pass these tests, but everyone should pass certain standardized tests. Standardized tests need to be given to every grade starting from preschool to determine if each student is qualified to move to the next grade. If the preschoolers cannot color in the lines yet, they should be held back a year or expelled at the discretion of the school board. Even in the work force, standardized tests need to be regularly distributed to every employee, including those with jobs that do not require a college degree or a high school diploma. Politicians and government officials must take every test distributed, whether it be to students or employees/employers, and pass each of them. If the politicians do not receive proficient marks, they are not qualified to work as a member of the government and will be dismissed immediately. Once dismissed, the politician and or government official will be replaced by the pre-schoolers who were expelled for not being able to color in the lines.

The No Child Left Behind Act should provide federal funding for some convenient methods to ensure a successful learning environment. A necessary addition to the program includes increased locker sizes for all students. Every student's locker must double in size to provide enough space for standardized testing preparation packets. Bigger lockers also cause fewer disruptions during class because all of the disruptive devices must be stored in the large lockers. Government funding for the No Child Left Behind Act should be used to pay for the enlarged selection and size of cafeteria food. More extravagant foods allow students to think more clearly and concentrate better in the classroom. Along with the size of the food, the price of food will be increased for the purpose of funding new learning materials such as a trampoline in the gym. All students will be given the opportunity to exercise on the trampoline which pumps more blood in the body and results in a clear focused mind for the classroom. Government sponsored playgrounds will also be mandatory for schools of all levels. Finally, the most prized benefit of the No Child Left Behind Act should be the limousine rides given to all students going to and from school. The limousine rides will act as confidence boosters for students who will then feel happy about themselves and be proud of who they are. By doubling locker sizes, supplying a larger selection of foods, providing trampolines in gyms, and limousine rides to and from school all students benefit from the No Child Left Behind Act. These benefits make good use of funding for the No Child Left Behind Act.

The No Child Left Behind Act mandates improvement in educational standards. Organizing educational field trips can help schools reach this goal. Taking students to witness the war in Iraq is one example of an educational field trip. Students who participate in this trip should feel honored to witness an event that will likely be mentioned in future history textbooks. Furthermore, some other innovative and alternative teaching methods would help improve the American educational system. Students who fail to meet government regulated standards should be allowed to participate in alternative education in Iraq. In Iraq, they would dig trenches to provide assistance in the war. While helping the American military, students would have the opportunity to learn about the role of trench warfare in World War I and apply their knowledge of history to the current situation in Iraq. Digging trenches also requires a significant amount of physical activity and therefore would be an alternative to gym class. The situation in Iraq allows for a unique program for students who wish to study in a foreign country.

To provide all students with safe and drug free learning environments is another goal of the No Child Left Behind Act. Studenst who attend schools with high levels of criminal activity should be given the option of attending school in a maximum security prison. By observing that the imprisoned criminals are poorly treated, students would learn to refrain from illegal activity. Therefore, unsafe schools will never be an issue for future generations. Students will be guaranteed a safe education in these maximum security schools because they will be protected by barbed wire and electric fences. In addition, government funding would allow for construction of moats filled with crocodiles around the most elite schools. To further ensure safety, school cafeterias will require students to eat with their hands since all utensils, including plastic spoons, can be used as lethal weapons. As a matter of fact, teaching will be kept to a minimum in these schools because it is unsafe to poison young minds with higher level knowledge.

The No Child Left Behind Act will eventually have a detrimental effect on all of the schools across the country. Even though our proposals will not improve the school systems, something must be done. If left unchanged, the No Child Left Behind Act will permanently ruin the educational system. For one to set standards that all students must achieve is absurd. Every person is unique, and because they are unique, it is impossible to achieve uniform standards. By mandating attendance policies, the government is going to see the student drop out rate climb significantly, and there will be nothing they can do about this problem, except to put drop outs in jail until they agree to comply with the policy. Due to the funds being used in the No Child Left Behind Act, eventually the country will go bankrupt. Even at this point in time, social security benefits are not guaranteed to the future generations of American citizens. What will happen when all of the funds are going into "fixing" the educational system? Think about this: It is not the politicians that are going to ultimately suffer from this act; it is your children who will suffer the consequences of the No Child Left Behind Act.

 [|http://www.bendib.com/newones/2007/june/small/6-25-No-Child-Left-behind-.jpg  


 * Alexander Pope - The Rape of the Lock**

Most epics inculcate the cultural values of a society. Since The Rape of the Lock is a mock epic, Pope intends to satirize the values of his society. What “values” does Pope choose to skewer? Find five examples from the text to support your answer.

A cultural value that Pope satirizes is a woman's obsession with beauty. A specific example of this usage is Betty in The Rape of the Lock. Pope writes about her beauty but mocks Betty because she uses materialistic items to make herself more beautiful. A quote to support Pope's feelings about Betty is when he writes, "And Betty's praised for labors not her own." In Pope's opinion there are too many women just like Betty who do not admire their own natural beauty and they rely on material items to make them feel more beautiful.

Another cultural value that Pope mocks in The Rape of the Lock is the importance of social events like teatime. Pope takes Belinda on an elaborate, time consuming journey down the Thames just so she can go to tea. Pope also makes this journey appear perilous, when usually, going to tea is a non dangerous event.

Pope also chooses to skewer the idea of the public's obsession with other people's lives and posessions. Pope mentions that gossipy individuals always know where everyone else's furnishings came from, or who visited whom on any particular day. Since Pope thinks that this intense scrutiny is unnecessary, he exaggerates the extent of it in The Rape of the Lock.

In The Rape of the Lock, women are portrayed as being generally weak, brainless creatures that only exist for the benefit of men. Pope demonstrates this through his description of Belinda's relationship with the Baron. When the Baron takes the two locks of hair from Belinda's head, Belinda acts powerless and weak, cementing the idea that all women are frail, emotionally fragile beings.

In the Rape of the Lock Pope blames Gnomes for tumbling beds, tumble beds, and cause suspicion. The author blames the Gnomes because the people are obviously responsible for the mishaps but they all blame the Gnome so they do not have to confront the problem. This is satire because Pope is indirectly mocking the people by sarcastically describing the doings of the destructive Gnome.


 * High School Dictionary in the Style of Samuel Johnson**

Sweet- (adj.) awesome; origin: coming from the word sacchaine meaning sugar coated to deploy the goodness of something //All of the students in my English class recieved a sweet grade on their report card.// Dig - (v.) to like something; origin: shortened version of //do you like it .// The D in dig comes from do and the I comes from it. The G was added on the end because dig is more eye catching than the word di. //At the party the disk jockey asked the crowd, "Do you dig it?".// Props- (n.) credit; origin: giving props to an actor enhances their role, thus making their role more credible //My best friend gave me props for covering her when she forgot her lines during the farewell speech.// S'all good- it's going well; origin: originated from the phrase "I'm feeling well" and over time people replaced well with good. //S'all good when my friends and I are relaxing in the summer heat.// Bling- (n.) jewlery; origin: bling refers to the sound metal makes when clanking against other metal //The loud clanking of the bling hanging from the gangster's neck intimidated the small children walking down the street.// Knucklehead- (n.) a person lacking common sense; origin: term used when even a hit at the head does not recover someone's common sense //A young boy was called a knucklehead by his parents for placing cereal in the refrigerator.// Get Schooled- (v. phrase) to be defeated; origin: recieving a lower grade than a classmate //She got schooled when her comment was put down by a fellow classmate.// Dough- (n.) money; origin: dough is a component of bread, when one has lots of bread one has a lot of money //The college student's new job gave him more dough than his previous job.// Homie(s)- (n.) friend(s); origin: a group of people who make one feel at "home" //Every Friday my homies and I watch a movie at the Emmaus movie theater.// Chill- (v.) to calm down, rest; origin: literally means to cool //I like to chill on my bean bag chair while reading a good book.//

This article discusses how party affiliations can distinguish an individual, women in particular. Those of a certain identity were Whigs and those of the other were Tories. The people between the two were undecided and therefore had not been distinguished by markings as to which party they were associated with. According to the article, women develop patches for their political party in order to impress men with their political interests. One the other hand, some women choose their own paths even if it goes against the views of their husbands. The patches from one woman to the next distinguish between friend and enemy as well as undecided. Everyone has unique facial characteristics though. The point of this article is that you can’t judge someone based solely on their appearance. In the article, there was a misconception because of a mole on the patches. Women especially are quick to judge on looks rather than personality. Women also try to outdo each other, whether it is for a meaningful cause or a petty dispute. The article states that it is not a women’s responsibility to fret differences and fight over meaningless things. That is what men are for; women were created to be mediators from the fighting. According to Addison, when women fight over differences, it ruins the integrity and beauty of that woman. Women cannot put differences behind them when arguing for a cause; they let their tempers and characteristics get in the way of a sincere and intelligent debate. When a woman gets involved in a dispute, she cannot let it go, and it will eventually ruin her. The tone of the article is cautious. Addison is trying to warn women of the danger of getting involved in disputes. Women have fierce attitudes and they will let it overtake them and eventually those tempers will ruin friendships, relationships, and lives. Addison believes that women should be fair persons, not fierce.
 * Addison and Steele "Party Patching" No. 81**

Addison and Steele’s articles are important during the Age of Reason for many reasons. During the Age of Reason places where public reading could be done increased. With that increase, the literacy rate of people increased among the wealthy especially. Addison wrote using wit and tried to instill morality in people. He aimed to make the world a better place. He tried to appeal to all audiences by incorporating ideas from both the middle class and the wealthy class of people. When he wrote, Addison discussed literature, morals, and manners. The “Party Patching” article fits with this idea because it is unladylike for women to fight in public over insignificant things of which they have no control. It was also immoral to accuse someone of being a traitor when all of the facts were not yet known. The Age of Reason emphasizes the individual. The writings of Addison and Steele focus on the individual and how the individual should behave in a society. “Party Patching” is somewhat of a satire on the pettiness of disputing women although it is not as definitely defined as a satire when compared to Swifts, “A Modest Proposal.” The wit in the article is considerably noticeable though. During that time period, Addison and Steele were concerned about further educating the rapidly growing classes of literate people. Today, people are still concerned about educating the masses. Addison’s “Party Patching” article is about women disputing over insignificant things and how immature and inappropriate their actions were. Today, everyone fights over petty things and because it is so common, it is no longer a big deal. Even though the two time periods are similar in terms of the desire to educate the people, the education itself is different. The concerns of the Age of Reason for the most part are not the concerns of the present time period.


 * Addison and Steele "On Duels" No. 93**

This article expresses the authors' dislike of duels by satirically describing the proper manners that should be followed during duels. The narrator of the article first states that he believes that he has enemies who wish to disturb his laborious studies. He does not know how to deny such enemies and therefore practices the art of dueling in his room every morning. Because nobody is willing to show him what he must do, the narrator feels compelled to learn by book. He has drawn the figures of men (some of whom are extremely tall and others whom are extremely short) on the wall of his room. He figures that he must practice dueling men of all different heights. However, the men he drew are as thin as him. This is because he feels that taking advantage of a man's breadth is equivalent to murder and is very ungentlemanly. The narrator then brags about his success in practicing against these figures drawn on the wall. He confesses that he does not support dueling but does not know how to avoid duels. He says he refuses to bear those people who give him ill looks. He urges both ladies and gentlemen to treat him kindly rather than scornfully.

"On Duels" exemplifies ideas and beliefs associated with the Age of Reason. This article refers to duels as a "science of defence." The Age of Reason emphasized empiricism (the scientific method) rather than emotion. Addison and Steele describe how the postures used in duels are depicted very precisely in several volumes of books; this further shows the importance of science to the Age of Reason. He satirizes the preciseness of science by describing the manners that should be followed when dueling men of various heights and breadths. This sort of witty, humorous satire is also a characteristic of writing from the Age of Reason.

Today, people obviously still are concerned about proper manners, although dueling has become an antiquated method of settling disputes. People who are considerate should not have any unfair advantages or disadvantages when negotiating with others. By reading this article, people today can still learn that they should not take advantage of their opponents. In general, having good manners also involves being kind to each other; this idea has not changed since the Age of Reason.